gurl in her process

 You are loved beyond reason. It is not a reward. I heard this in the my head the other day, in the voice of my WWOOF host, one of the two people in the couple who is hosting me while I volunteer for their projects right now. This is really, really, important.

  The new laws of power This is in response to the "48 laws of power" as written by Robert Greene. I read that and I was disgusted. If you want to understand the comparison, it's easy to find on a search engine. So without further ado, here is the new version. In Joy! You are equal to the master in all ways and qualities Trust your friends, and have no enemies. Reveal your intentions and make them known, be transparent. Speak as much as you need to. Speak, for goodness sakes, speak. Fuck your reputation. Authentic creation is more important than doing things to get attention. Authenticity is truly powerful. Do your own work, and don’t take credit for the work of others. Don’t play games with people. If you want something from someone, tell them. Don’t be an asshole. Stop being concerned with winning. You aren’t in a competition. Take compassionate actions to help people who are less fortunate than yourself. Don’t look down on them. They can’t “infect” you with their bad l...

 I made his feelings, opinions, beliefs and thoughts about mine be more important than my own. Once I did that, I started doing it with everyone. But what I finally realized is it was a pattern from my childhood - one among many that I thought when I had a "spiritual awakening" that I could simply shed off like a snake's skin or cast aside like an old cloak and be done with, never to deal with it again. But I was wrong! I used to do this all the time, I remember making my parent's opinion of my truth more important than my truth because I thought they needed me to take care of them, and I thought they needed my agreement to sustain their version of spiritual truth. The thought of openly believing something different from them felt like the act of highest betrayal. I thought, genuinely and unconsciously, that I was responsible for my parent's foundation of truth. That I had the power to rock that boat. So i didn't. But when I reached the age of 24 going on 25, ...

 You can judge a person's character by the amount of truth they can stand. I was a serial toxic relationship dater and bad sex addict for many many years and now I am 27 and I have put myself into a life circumstance where I can no longer fall into these pitfalls of human suffering.  Overly detaching and calling it general human suffering isn't the way, but detaching enough to understand that it was a collective experience, one that I was both affected by and affecting is the form of self-compassion that I am holding myself with these days. A theme that's majorly coming up for me is honesty. In my most recent relationship, not counting all the hookups I've had and short flings, there was a strong breech of honesty and good communication. I don't want to label anything as an "all toxic" relationship or any person as "all toxic" because to do that is to strike the nuances out of everything it encompasses.  All that being said the relationship was a...